Sometimes I refuse you a glance
And I keep turned to shield me from your view.
Though I can feel your stare, you don’t advance
Which suits me. It’s comfortable, this distance between me and you.
Then I feel prepared from time to time,
Whether from hope, or for help, I throw an exhausted stare.
I look your way and you look mine.
A pause…then I shuffle past, and nothing is shared.
My head’s argument clamors around you in my thoughts.
So much time wasted, my higher self absent to decide:
What is the truth? What is the purpose? Why am I overwrought
With the extreme beauty of an emotional being, yet a supreme inability to confide?
Out of this maelstrom I struggle to pluck a confident voice.
One that can bring clarity, or an inner relief of some kind.
And at the end of my mind’s journey I realize the choice:
Though hopelessly flawed, self acceptance was my gift to find.
I’ve let summer become seasons
Waiting to be set right again on that road.
Giving rise to remembrance of all the reasons
Why my life’s worth the struggle, regardless of the load.
And there you are, gazing back through your reflective pane.
But like me, you seem different, uplifted somewhat.
Wordlessly and with a nod an agreement is gained.
A deep sigh, a half smile and finally respite.
Acceptance and reason must lead my direction.
In our opposite, I see we’re exactly same.
I give thanks to calm and my reflection.
And with strength renewed, it’s me I’m here to reclaim.