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Monthly Archives: January 2013

Birthday

23 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by solving4x in Life, Uncategorized

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Birthday, Character, Evolution, Hope, Late Bloomer, Learning, Life, life lessons, Life Path, Self Reflection

ImageI turned 48 years old today. And the new year just began three weeks ago. January tends to be a time of self reflection for me.

During the past few weeks all kinds of things passed through my head. I thought about some things I want to do, some things I need to do and some the things I wish I’d done. I beat myself up for not keeping some personal commitments, but I was also able to pat myself on the back for some other good accomplishments. The nice part is it’s never too late to start again. I do believe in that.

The current state of my life has been defined by some colossal failures that have their beginnings around 2005. I’d lost my life’s balance, made bad decisions and ended up wasting about seven years. I regret losing such a large portion of my life. No productivity. No personal growth. So I try to look on the bright side and tell myself that those years have helped carve the features of my character. And that the outcome is good. I’m now immune to that set of life’s maladies. Who knows, perhaps I may be able to help another with the pearls of my life’s wisdom.

At times I compare my current self to the me of my 20s and 30s. I assume that I’m not alone and many of you also do this … at least those of us with some substantial years behind us. I was as all young people of that age group are: energetic, positive, driven. I lived with purpose back then. At the time, I was too naive to know what that purpose was, but I was working toward something. I had a creative mind, a positive attitude and an amiable disposition. I had an innate knack for graphic design that I used to my advantage. These facets of my personality and skill gave me the confidence to start a business or two, or three. I was able to make a living from them. At different times, the progress of each rose and fell as with any business, but all would fizzle until the last one finally failed. It wasn’t because I didn’t have the talent or the work ethic. With the advantages of hindsight, I can honestly say: I sucked as a business person. I hated that part of owning a business. All I wanted to do — all I was good at — was the creative part.

In one respect, I’m glad I didn’t become a success in the business world. Make no mistake, the capitalist in me wishes I had. As an American I’m prone to believe the commercials: I DO need that new Audi … in fact give me one for each day of the week. And I’m going to need that 7,000 sq. ft. house with the 5-car garage as well. But as it stands, that’s not the way my life unfolded. My guess is I probably would’ve burned out on the unrelenting fast pace that business ownership demands. And I’d still be hating the business part of it. I’d have denied the small voice in me that wants to create my own art images. I’d not have the time for real self reflection and no time to write it down.

Currently, my occupation as a designer keeps me busy from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Thankfully, work stays at the office and the rest of my night is mine. With time for thoughtful self reflection, I think I’m finally coming to terms with my past failures and learning what makes me truly content. All of this is an evolutionary process to become whatever it is I’m supposed to become.

All my life I’ve been a late bloomer. And even though this bud is 48 years in the making, I still believe the flower of my life is coming and that some really amazing parts are yet to be realized. I hope to receive them with humility and passion.

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Blown Away

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by solving4x in Creative Writings, Poetry

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Blog, blogging, blown away, creative, creativity, impressive, Reading, Wordpress, writing

Wow.

I’ve spent this Friday evening catching up on all the posts from the blogs I follow, reading Freshly Pressed, and just generally hopping from link to link, becoming fully absorbed in all the amazing pieces from the writers on WordPress.

Tonight I’ve read everything from personal stories, to writing challenges, opinion pieces, focused analyses, fiction, poetry and whimsy — all of it was simply fantastic.

The wonderful creativity, bravery and insights shared are so overwhelming that I just had to comment on how impressive the WordPress bloggers are.

Bravo to you! I’m learning so much from all of you! You’ve blown me away!

A New Year’s Revolution

07 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by solving4x in Art, Life

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Achievement, Change, Goals, Life, New Year, New Years Resolution, Resolution, Revolution, Self Improvement

ImageLike many people, I’m not one to make a list of new year resolutions. Like most people, the resolutions I’d made in the past were broken and discarded before January had ended. We all choose to make improvements to ourselves throughout any given year. My guess is the decision to make an improvement or change to one’s self is made at the new year simply because many folks view the new year as a rebirth of sorts. It’s an opportunity to shed any of the negative aspects we’ve collected, and leave it in a heap to remain in the husk of last year. Our new self, in the new year, is a clean slate; we are free of those things we allowed to stifle the positive potential of our lives.

Although I pointed out that I don’t make resolutions, I do try to use the new year as a marker to remind me to reflect on my personal goals. This year is no different, outside of the fact that for the first time, I’m sharing it in a public forum.

These last four years have been a rebuilding period for me (Rain Dog and The Dopest Phoenix). More specifically, the last two years I’ve focused on eliminating my credit card debt. On December 20, 2012, I made a final payment to a Visa account and now have zero balances on all four of my credit cards. Woo hoo! Yay me! I must say it felt so very good! As we all know, keeping a balanced and healthy financial self is an ongoing enterprise and must be tended to continually and with diligence. So with this new zero-debt status, I feel I’ve got a good handle on my financial self and therefore, can focus on two new things for 2013: health and creativity.

In just about three weeks from now I’ll have a birthday. Hello 48. Is this what people would refer to as mid-life? I always tease that my mid-life was when I turned 32. The math would suggest, as I once believed, I only expected to make it to my mid-sixties. I’m sure the hard-and-fast livin’ of my earlier life has done a lot to trim some years off the back end. However, I’ve decided to think positively and prepare for a life past 65.

Baby steps, though. I don’t plan on a radical lifestyle change. That would only boost the likelihood of my failure to reach the goals. I’m not going to promise to lose weight. I’m not going to commit to a half marathon by year’s end. I’m merely going to be smarter about what I eat and how much, and I’m going to start with light exercise. No gym membership. I know me and that would just be giving money away. I’m assuming that with these two minor changes, results will come.

Back in September, I mentioned that I wanted to get back into creating artwork (Still Life WIth Oranges). Now, more than three months later, I still haven’t made a move. But now’s my chance. With the new year I can reinvent myself without allowing my own guilt to hold me hostage for being lazy, unfocused or uncommitted. See how that works? New years are great! Time to get moving on a new chapter.

This old way, my life, isn’t working for me anymore. Real and lasting change can be achieved, not with a resolution, but with a revolution. And it starts by choosing to make a change. I choose now.

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