The Thanksgiving weekend is winding down. I was fortunate enough to have a 4-day weekend. Spent Thanksgiving with the family. The family consists of parents, my older sister and myself. That’s the official, blood family. However, Tonya always spends holidays with us. So she’s like family too. Like another sister to me. She’s been my sister’s best friend and a friend to my family for…I don’t know…20 years or so.
Friday was spent mostly on the couch, watching movies, picking at leftovers and napping on and off all day. That day I never left the house. That day my only contact with the outside world was checking my Instagram and Facebook feeds and texting back and forth with Mikey a couple of times to confirm I was coming over to cook on Saturday. I finished the evening with a viewing of Casablanca. One of my all-time favorites.
Saturday morning I grocery shopped for the items I needed for dinner with Mike and his family. Mike invites me over for dinner every other weekend on average. Occasionally I don’t feel like going over. I feel like it takes up too much of my weekend sometimes. I go reluctantly but I never regret going. It’s always satisfying. Mike’s daughter Zoe is my Goddaughter. She’s amazing and I love to spend time with her. She’ll be 14 in just under 4 weeks. I’m so lucky to be able to spend time with her at this age. I assume with the onset of her teen years she’ll be more interested in doing other things rather than spending time with the adults in her life. So far so good though. She’s so cool.
Today, Sunday, I isolated myself again. Not purposefully. It was just the way things turned out. And again, I spent much of the time on the couch watching movies I like, plus a new one. I really enjoy my alone time. I can burn hours away in front of Netflix or bouncing around the internet. Huge chunks of time actually. Then look back on what I’ve accomplished and realize: Wow. I’m at expert at wasting time.
This afternoon, I’d watched a movie that made me cry multiple times. That’s no major feat though, movies and music make me cry easily. Even if someone’s just telling me a sad or heartfelt story, I’ll cry. Not the blubbering uncontrollably kind of cry, but just the tearing up quiet kind. I remember crying over an M&M commercial once. It was heartwarming. I cried when Hiccup’s dad, Stoick, died in How To Train Your Dragon 2. For me, movies have a way of altering my mood. Today’s movie was called If I Stay. It happened to end when the sun was setting. As the credits rolled, I looked out of the windows and the sky was getting darker, still blue at the top but starting to get yellow-orange like sunsets do. I felt a strong melancholy. I hadn’t been out of the house all day, hadn’t talked to a soul or laid eyes on one single person not made up of pixels. The urge was strong to connect with the world, even in a small way. So I put on shoes and a hoodie, grabbed my wallet and keys and took a drive. I drive a Wrangler and the weather has been nice here in LV, nice enough that I only have the doors and soft windows on…the back is completely exposed. The cool air felt so good. So good. The first real live person I saw today was the cashier at the gas station where I bought a Dr. Pepper. My only dialog with a real live person today was, “Is that all for you today?” “Yes.” “$1.07” “Thank you.” It was good enough. It made me feel connected enough.
Then I came home and wrote this entry.